Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Buffalo Gals Can't Ya Come Out Tonight?

It was a morning not unlike many other mornings.

I was absurdly tired, my blood sugar probably too high from cleaning out the round 1.5 quart container of Edy's Grand Nestle Butterfinger Ice Cream the night before.

So I brushed my teeth and I shaved; I made my fiber and vitamin shake with a little bit of banana and sucked it down.

I got dressed hastily, slipped the chain of my Via de Cristo cross around my neck, and dabbed on a smidgeon of Kroger Arctic Blue after shave.

I grabbed my insulin case with an orange inside for lunch, and headed toward the front door.
'Bye baby, gimme a kiss', my wife beckoned.
We smacked lips, and the reason for the affection surfaced immediately: 'Will you help me grab Oompa Loompa's split rail fence before you go?'

Oompa Loompa was the name I had given to our neighbor, for no real reason. His name was RJ, or JR - I could never remember which - and he played his 50's music way too loud.
I fumed, that she would again dump an immediate request on me right as I was about to leave the house for work. So, lovingly, I shook my head, and left the house.

But as I descended out from the cover of our dappled willows, I beheld The Truck backing up to our neighbor's mobile home. It was large, and it was orange, and it was about to haul his 16x90 foot trailer away.

As I approached my vehicle, the nice driver asked me if I was leaving and I told him I was. He asked me if 'that car' was leaving also, pointing to Moni's Journey. I got a little paranoid about telling a stranger that our home would soon be empty for the next ten hours, so I asked if he needed me to move it. I told him I would directly. 

I headed back inside and told my beloved that Oompa's trailer was fixin to get yanked and she ran out to acquire those fence pieces. It wasn't much - just like a post with two rails coming out of each side going right down to the ground - but they were in pretty good shape, and we never turn down free lumber. I did end up helping her move them, and then was on my way to work. 

I didn't think much more about the morning's events until I got back home from work. During my drive home, I daydreamed probably of the sirloin burgers and jalepeno poppers I would be doing on the grill that night, and the joy my pallet would be experiencing through that whole process.

I backed into my little parking spot off the road like I always do, and got out of the Grape.

Our neatly groomed lawn now butted up to a section of dirt littered with fiberglass insulation, various wood pieces, and hunks of pvc pipe. Oompa Loompa's baby blue sided 3 bedroom with the cool-ass porcelain tiles in the master bathroom was gone! 

It was weird, but it offered me a better view of the eastern sky, and the rising one-day-after-the-blood-moon moon.

At some point soon I'm sure, they will slowly back in a newer model, which they have been doing throughout the park. This will of course make our 1979 Redman look all the more like an aged man of war.

But, please clean up that mess.

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