More teaching, more stories, more
parable, more teaching, foolish virgins, bury the talent, sheep and
goats, …
At Bethany, what a waste of
resources!
I will use my talents to serve the
Priests. 'What would you give me if I hand Him over to you?'
The price of a slave.
I will bide my time.
Evening at the Passover meal.'One of
you will betray me.'
Might He possibly know? Have I been
spied upon and found out?!?
'Surely it is not I, Lord?, surely
it is not I?' they all repeat.
'The one who has dipped his hand
into the dish with me is the one...'
…?
To appear chaste: 'Surely it is
not I, Rabbi?'
'You have said so.'
…
'You have said so'?? I 'have said
so'?? No I haven't really said so; I was merely asking, not unlike
all the others...
And now He appears almost kingly,
priestly; yet still with great humility. He blesses the bread, breaks
it, and offers it to each of us: 'Take and eat, this is my body.'
'This is my body'?? What would
Moses, or the priests have to say about such verbiage during this
sacred meal?? Does He not blaspheme?!? What can it mean??
And yet, still He continues with the
chalice:'Drink from it, all of you, for this is my blood of the
covenant, which will be shed on behalf of many for the forgiveness of
sins. I tell you from now on I shall not drink this fruit of the vine
until the day when I drink it with you new in the kingdom of my
Father.'
FFS can we just sing a hymn and be
done?!?Nobody knows what He is talking about, and some are already
beginning to nod off!
Finally, the Meal is finished, and
we head toward the Mount of Olives.
Yet He continues this incessant
prophetic babbling: 'This night all of you will have your faith in me
shaken, for it is written:
“I will strike the shepherd, and
the sheep of the flock will be dispersed”;
but after I have been raised up, I
shall go before you to Galilee.'
Thinking back, I do believe that my faith has been
shaken for some time now...
But hoi! Hear Peter: 'Though all may
have their faith in you shaken, mine will never be.'
Bumbling arrogant fisherman: 'Mine
will never be'!
Ha, and His reply? 'Amen, I
say to you, this very night before the cock crows, you will deny Me three times.'
Still holding on to his zeal and
fidelity, Peter retorts, 'Even though I should have to die with You,
I will not deny You.'
'Nor I, Lord.', 'Nor I, Lord.' echo
the rest (who aren't yet sleeping)...
The master went on with the others
to Gethsemane, I quietly left and found a small angry crowd gathering
outside of the temple. The chief priests and elders were there
reminding the fake witnesses what to say, and passing out clubs. At
the appointed time, I led the throng back to Gethsemane, looking for
the One I was to betray with a kiss.
There He is: 'Hail, Rabbi!'; and
then the kiss.
There was no affection in my kiss,
although, somehow, I wanted there to be.
His next words haunted me afterward
– not just the words, but the manner in which they were spoken:
with a knowing peace that passes all understanding: 'Friend, do
what you have come for.'
I did not have time then to mull on
any of this: at this point there was a brief skirmish, and those with clubs and torches laid hands on
Him. In response, one of His faithful companions drew a sword, and
struck the high priest's servant, cutting off his ear.
Again, His reply was baffling: 'Put
your sword back into its sheath, for all who take the sword will
perish by the sword. Do you not think that I cannot call upon my
Father and He will not provide me at this moment with more than
twelve legions of angels? But then how would the scriptures be
fulfilled which say that it must come to pass in this way?'
'Twelve legions of angels'? Who
could ever claim this type of authority?
…
Have I made a mistake??
But He continued, ' Have you come
out as against a robber, with swords and clubs to seize Me? Day after
day I sat teaching in the temple area, yet you did not arrest Me. But
all this has come to pass that the writings of the prophets may be
fulfilled.'
We all forsook Him then. We all ran
and hid – some far, some not so far; some fearful of local
jurisdictions and temporal retribution, but others, mainly myself,
now fearful of having committed far worse transgression: betrayal of the Son of
God.
He was sent to Caiaphas, where more
false witnesses accused Him.
Why did they need false witnesses?
Surely this Man has committed
grievous blasphemy and deserves death!! Surely!!!
(Though it would ease my
conscience, but I begin to think it may not be true.)
He was abused, and did not retort. He was jeered and slapped and punched and spit upon... must it be this way?
In the morning, the entire council
convened one last time with one purpose: to make sure this Man was
condemned to death.
…
My heart is heavy, and I cannot bear
it. In His last words to me, He called me 'friend'. Knowing my
purpose, and knowing His plight, still He called me 'friend'.
Even then.
My heart is heavy, and I cannot bear
it. Could I ever make recompense? Could I ever un-do what I have done?!?
How could I make
recompense?!? How might I repent??
…
Perhaps I will find the chief
priests and elders, and return their money; … and my heart will not
have this guilt to bear. My heart will not be heavy, even though I
know I still have played a major part in this Man's demise. The price
of a slave will be returned, and I will no longer be their slave!
I will no longer cry out inside
begging for forgiveness. Yes...
'I have sinned in betraying innocent
blood'
'What is that to us? Look to it
yourself.'
I probably could have predicted
that. They care not, as long as this Man is done away with.
I tossed the bag of silver into the
temple and left. But the sorrow and grief remain – there is no
solace, there is no repose.
What have I done?!?
There is no solace, there is no
repose.
My heart is heavy, and I cannot bear it...
