More teaching, more stories, more parable, more teaching, foolish virgins, bury the talent, sheep and goats, …
At Bethany, what a waste of resources!
I will use my talents to serve the Priests. 'What would you give me if I hand Him over to you?'
The price of a slave.
I will bide my time.
Evening at the Passover meal.'One of you will betray me.'
Might He possibly know? Have I been spied upon and found out?!?
'Surely it is not I, Lord?, surely it is not I?' they all repeat.
'The one who has dipped his hand into the dish with me is the one...'
…?
To appear chaste: 'Surely it is not I, Rabbi?'
'You have said so.'
…
'You have said so'?? I 'have said so'?? No I haven't really said so; I was merely asking, not unlike all the others...
And now He appears almost kingly, priestly; yet still with great humility. He blesses the bread, breaks it, and offers it to each of us: 'Take and eat, this is my body.'
'This is my body'?? What would Moses, or the priests have to say about such verbiage during this sacred meal?? Does He not blaspheme?!? What can it mean??
And yet, still He continues with the chalice:'Drink from it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which will be shed on behalf of many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you from now on I shall not drink this fruit of the vine until the day when I drink it with you new in the kingdom of my Father.'
FFS can we just sing a hymn and be done?!?Nobody knows what He is talking about, and some are already beginning to nod off!
Finally, the Meal is finished, and we head toward the Mount of Olives.
Yet He continues this incessant prophetic babbling: 'This night all of you will have your faith in me shaken, for it is written:
“I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be dispersed”;
but after I have been raised up, I shall go before you to Galilee.'
Thinking back, I do believe that my faith has been shaken for some time now...
But hoi! Hear Peter: 'Though all may have their faith in you shaken, mine will never be.'
Bumbling arrogant fisherman: 'Mine will never be'!
Ha, and His reply? 'Amen, I say to you, this very night before the cock crows, you will deny Me three times.'
Still holding on to his zeal and fidelity, Peter retorts, 'Even though I should have to die with You, I will not deny You.'
'Nor I, Lord.', 'Nor I, Lord.' echo the rest (who aren't yet sleeping)...
The master went on with the others to Gethsemane, I quietly left and found a small angry crowd gathering outside of the temple. The chief priests and elders were there reminding the fake witnesses what to say, and passing out clubs. At the appointed time, I led the throng back to Gethsemane, looking for the One I was to betray with a kiss.
There He is: 'Hail, Rabbi!'; and then the kiss.
There was no affection in my kiss, although, somehow, I wanted there to be.
His next words haunted me afterward – not just the words, but the manner in which they were spoken: with a knowing peace that passes all understanding: 'Friend, do what you have come for.'
I did not have time then to mull on any of this: at this point there was a brief skirmish, and those with clubs and torches laid hands on Him. In response, one of His faithful companions drew a sword, and struck the high priest's servant, cutting off his ear.
Again, His reply was baffling: 'Put your sword back into its sheath, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword. Do you not think that I cannot call upon my Father and He will not provide me at this moment with more than twelve legions of angels? But then how would the scriptures be fulfilled which say that it must come to pass in this way?'
'Twelve legions of angels'? Who could ever claim this type of authority?
…
Have I made a mistake??
But He continued, ' Have you come out as against a robber, with swords and clubs to seize Me? Day after day I sat teaching in the temple area, yet you did not arrest Me. But all this has come to pass that the writings of the prophets may be fulfilled.'
We all forsook Him then. We all ran and hid – some far, some not so far; some fearful of local jurisdictions and temporal retribution, but others, mainly myself, now fearful of having committed far worse transgression: betrayal of the Son of God.
He was sent to Caiaphas, where more false witnesses accused Him.
Why did they need false witnesses?
Surely this Man has committed grievous blasphemy and deserves death!! Surely!!!
(Though it would ease my conscience, but I begin to think it may not be true.)
He was abused, and did not retort. He was jeered and slapped and punched and spit upon... must it be this way?
In the morning, the entire council convened one last time with one purpose: to make sure this Man was condemned to death.
…
My heart is heavy, and I cannot bear it. In His last words to me, He called me 'friend'. Knowing my purpose, and knowing His plight, still He called me 'friend'.
Even then.
My heart is heavy, and I cannot bear it. Could I ever make recompense? Could I ever un-do what I have done?!?
How could I make recompense?!? How might I repent??
…
Perhaps I will find the chief priests and elders, and return their money; … and my heart will not have this guilt to bear. My heart will not be heavy, even though I know I still have played a major part in this Man's demise. The price of a slave will be returned, and I will no longer be their slave!
I will no longer cry out inside begging for forgiveness. Yes...
'I have sinned in betraying innocent blood'
'What is that to us? Look to it yourself.'
I probably could have predicted that. They care not, as long as this Man is done away with.
I tossed the bag of silver into the temple and left. But the sorrow and grief remain – there is no solace, there is no repose.
What have I done?!?
There is no solace, there is no repose.
My heart is heavy, and I cannot bear it...
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