She never ever goes to mass, she sings like she don't care
And early in the morning she's got benders in her hair
The love she has for country music scares me
She's always late for dinner, but her penitence is real
She's never late for work at all, her flowers are ideal
I do quite often say it, and I very firmly feel
Mon-ic-a's quite an asset to the green-house
I'd like to say a word in her behalf; (go ahead Sister MillerLite-ia)
Mon-ic-a makes me laugh.
How do solve a problem like Mon-ic-a?
How do catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do find the word that means Mon-ic-a?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do solve a problem like Mon-ic-a?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
When I'm with her I'm confused, out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am...
And I never know exactly where I am...
Unpredictable as weather, she's as flighty as a feather
She's a darling! She's a demon! She's a lamb!
She'd out pester any pest, drive a hornet from its nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle! She is wild! She's a riddle! She's a child!
She's a headache!
She's an angel!
She's a girl!
How do catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do find the word that means Mon-ic-a?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do solve a problem like Mon-ic-a?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
This is not my creation. I took the song Maria (The Nuns), written by Richard Rogers and Oscar Hammerstein for The Sound of Music motion picture, and butchered it a bit. The show song has always reminded my of my beloved wife Monica, whom I love dearly.
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